the good left undone

when this all came up maybe i was in a worse place than i thought. i dont know. its possible. very possible. i mean, i had to be... but whats done (or undone) is done (or not done).

there are a lot of things that come to mind when i sit here to write this. so in times like this they say its best to just start going and let it work itself out. im a firm believer that things will generally work themselves out, so im going to go with that.

there were a lot of things i had in the last few months that i didnt have in that same span of time last year. things that actually kinda meant something. and even some of the material things were looking a little better than usual. and you know what? it doesnt even matter now. it kinda does, sure. but in a more important way, it doesnt.

the things i had to walk away from were the things that ive been wanting. and just as it is every time, when things are looking good they go bad. but its my own fault so how upset could i really be?

and the way this played out was mostly terrible too. hopefully theres a light at the end of this tunnel that makes it worthwhile. im assuming it wont be, but i guess ill have to wait and see.

as im writing this im listening to bright eyes. it only makes sense really. unfortunately its a more solid reminder of this situation than i care for. on the upside i did end on a high note though. i used to go out to shows that were pretty great but alone you can only enjoy them so much. this time around i had a group of the best friends you could have and a couple potential new ones.